The Code

The Code

So this past weekend I was told by my best friend that since we were kids I have always violated the code. The code at this point-in-time is something that I guess one should define so that the audience can understand this post and see where I will attempt to go with this. “The Code” I'm guessing or could be expressed as the following:

1. You never go with or attempt to talk to a friends lady friend?

And/Or

2. If there is a girl that your friend is just smashing, she is still off limits, unless your homies tells you that you can smash her too.

Throughout this post, I will explain different situations that will expose you to see different sides/advantages and disadvantages of the code. All together, “The Code” is something that is created and reimplemented within a friend's circle. However, one must realized that if you decided to talk and be about the code, you must never break the code. In the event that you break the code, you can never talk about or bring the code up just because something doesn't go your way.

I use to just think that the code was if you smashing or messing with someone's girl, don't be in that persons face, smiling and laughing, trying to be cool like yall the best homies in the world. I always thought that this was the fakest thing a dude could ever do via “The Code”.

However, throughout growing through adolescences, I have come to realize that every situation when it comes to women are very different.

For Instance, I went throughout high school always sleeping with someone else's girlfriend. I mean I just always thought it was the thing to do and the thing to brag to all the homies about. “The Code” at this point-in-time in time only applied to the people within my circle though. Yes, maybe I knew you or knew of you, but if you wasn't the homie that was ride or die and your girl was looking, then somebody from “The Crew” was gone take her down through there. In the words on Sanchez, “You betta believe it!”

But while we were growing and evolving into young adults, we never thought about the flip side of things.

I mean after attending college, all high school seemed to be was the first wave of sex, sports, and popularity. Depending on which one of these categories in which you fail in made all the difference on which kind of person that everyone labeled you as. But as we got closer to that junior and senior year, things begin to change (in both high school and college). We begin to try and find something steady. Maybe we still have a bit of our doggish ways in us, but we decide to scoop up that one that we just want around constantly.

Now, lets back up just a little bit. We've created a somewhat foundation of what “The Code” can be considered or accepted as in this post. Understanding and accepting those terms and agreement, living in a small city, or controlled atmosphere, such as college, when one decided to chill out and settle down, what are gone to be the realistic chances of her not being with someone that you know?

I mean, its been 6 months, everything has been cordial and no need to invade either of your happiness, until that one night that yall just sitting around in the bed/couch/car etc. talking about different things and that question about who you been with pops up. At this particular time, when this knowledge is dropped on you, do you bail because of a name that you hear or do you press on because of your happiness? My actual advice and conclusion of this post will definitely come later, but that is a question for you.

The reason for this particular post captures a lot of things. I can honestly say that I have never violated the code intentionally. And honestly, when I became something like a pimp (lol), I followed the code to the “T”. Yes, whoever you are smashing is your business. The only people that you really consult in are the homies that you run with on a daily basis to make sure that you don't bump heads with them. Giving that you do, this is when the evaluation of the female is done and the question between the homies is “does really does it matter?” After that has been assessed, then you know rather you need to press forward or not.

The problem with this is when does “The Code” need to be amended. Is it considered hating because you really like a particular person and you want to have something with them, but they have history with your homie/friend and you already know that nothing will never become of them. Giving that you are still the “Triple OG” that you claim to be, never throwing salt on your dog. But you know the reality of things.

I always had a “pet peeve” about women and my friends. If you ever decided that you wanted to be with me for real and things were popping off between us, then you couldn't have slept with someone that is close to me. It just always seemed to be a problem when thinking about being around that particular person knowing that they smashed my ol' lady. So therefore, I always told myself that I would never put myself in that situation.

However, in today present time, I still “consider” that rule. But I have been exposed to best friends sleeping with ex-girlfriends that really made a difference in my life; getting hit in my face with brace-knuckles because of a “friendship” in which I had with a girl and her boyfriend just so happen to be my homie. She was a girl that lost her virginity to my best-homie of all times and he never stopped talking to her, with me being in the middle, the blame all came down on me; Proposing for the first and only time of my life to my cousins ex-girlfriend from high school, that is now madly in love with one of my classmates/childhood friends that I played football with for years; friends in the military that never really understood me or the code and always thought that I was after they women; losing that one high school sweetheart that I always saw and spent time with when I was in the military to my frat brother that is about to marry her; knowing of a relationship where a guy married his best friends girlfriend of 4 years; having a frat brother that knew I slept with his ace-boon-coon girlfriend of all his college years and never let that dictate how he felt towards her or how he would treat her because he loved her; and just to throw the icing on the cake, falling for a women that has had a relationship with my first-cousin and best-homie of all times.

Again, I swear that I'm trying to understand this “Code” thing for myself as one has told me that I have repeatedly broke it for years. But it seems to me that he never even understood what “The Code” really was.

One thing stands out in the post ladies and gentlemen. When we love who we love, we decide to do this as adults. If your unhappiness in your relationship continuously causes you to always find flaws in other peoples relationship or always trying to expose them because “you want your cake and to eat it too”, then you will forever be unhappy simply because you cannot focus of yourself.

So to my audience and all that just may happen to read this post. Know that you are who you are for a particular reason. The person that you wish to share who you are with will fit right in your life like a puzzle being assembled. As always, there will come times when you must take a break and look back on it all. But don't let your past or friends from your past dictate your future because you are the one in which has to deal with it. To “The Code” homies out there...know when to apply this and when to let it ride, don't miss out on the best thing of your life because “The Code” says that it wrong. I'm not saying be/become a hater or back door somebody close to you (just keep it 100). However, simply know whats wrong and whats right and whats love and what lust. Until next time.

-TyRon